Reflections and Decisions

April 2015, love April, its when I start celebrating my Birthday, never could understand only doing that one day a year,, so years ago I started doing that on the 1st of April and keep it going till mid May. Well another winter has passed us by,, 1st time in 30 years that ive spent 2 complete winters back to back in Canada, last year being one of the snowiest of my life and this one being one of the coldest in my life and I must say I enjoyed both of them, other than I dearly missed my friends in Key West as well as really not having anything to do as far as my Art is concerned, on the other hand, im more than I could ever imagine overjoyed that ive been able to spend this much time with my Children and Grandchildren as well as sharing in the thrill of the Birth of my Great grand child,, Delaney Rose. As I get older and it seems every year,, my appreciation for what I have in Family and Lifetime Friendships becomes a priority in my life. I'm also happy to be able to write that a book I,ve had finished since 1992, has been put into print, "Friends of Eagles"a book about my observations of myself as a friend as well as those around me, its not that I ever get caught up in regret of any of my life for so long ago I realized that what is done is done and yes many times you wish you hadn't done or should have done, but what was can never be undone, But,, with this writing thing that I seem to not stop,, 25 years later, I still question so many reasons  about why and why not. Then again, as my good friend Bob Dylan , says,, its life and life only,, its alright Ma ,, I'm only bleeding. As I sit and spend yet another day at Monigram Coffee Roasters,, and try to decide on what it is I want to do or should do with the next 6 months of my life,, Europe,, Paris and Italia,, Niagara on the Lake,, or just hang out in Cambridge and I know  if I were 20 years younger it would be Europe,,and at this time of my life like I said it is nice seeing my Children every week,, Living situation is another aspect of my life that for most people my age,, is really not in their lives,, but when you havn't had a place to live the past 30 years and still don't it is something that makes you think a bit more about what it is you do and are doing,, anyway enough of all this,, seems I,ve had enough of wanting to jot down a few words and lines

Seems Like the First Time

Then again it could be ,, at 72 years old ,,it is the first time,, the first time becoming a Great Grandfather,, That is,,and again im in awe and thanks,, that im alive,, so many never reach this age,, and even more do not become witness to their Grandaughters become mothers which allows an old man to see his first Grand Child. Its 2015, and I swear,, its feels like 1999,where did those 16 years go,, that granddaughter who was 14 all of a sudden is 30,,and somehow,, ive become an old man,, what,, you say,, 72 is not old,, well excuse me,, it is,, and im like I said happy to be old and be able to claim the title of Great Grampa., Now,, what else is going on in this old mans life,, not much,, having spent the past 30 years putting a portfolio together of my drawing,, and like ive expressed in previous posts,, being banned from the united states for 5 years,, the past year has been a little more than difficult trying to fiqure out what to do with what ive been doing. Five years will make me 77 if I have that many,,and then what will I still be able to complete this project,, that has left me homeless and broke,, or  do I stop with this project and resign my self to the fact it was a noble effort,,choices and decisions,, and acceptance in Life and what it has for you, and gives you, I have quite a few places that have my work in the usa,, and at this point really feel like I will not be permitted into the usa to complete this project,, so the only option is ,, is for me to have everything collected and returned to Canada, it breaks my heart,, to do that,, but it is the most logical decision,,the sadest part of this situation,, is not about the project or what to do with it,, or the fact that it may never be completed ,, but the friends that I have had the privilege to have had in these years, and the separation from them,, at this time of my life,, beyond words to try to describe what has been taken away from me,, by the loss of these friends

Key West

I was first introduced to Key West in 1986, and fell in Love as are just about everyone that gets there. I started doing drawings on mat board with felt pens, in the years that followed I had a few hundred drawings a few hundred hand watercoloured prints and a few hundred watercolours and oil paintings . The 29 years that I spent in Key West, and I say 29 years but really was a lot less,, for in those years I was usually there anywhere from 3 to 6 months,, but in that time,,became welcomed as though I was family by not only the people that were seasonal but by the permanent residents of the city, treated like one of them. respected as an artist and Human being,, One Human Family, is the mantra of most of the folks I grew to know and Love. Writers , Musicians , Artist, Business owners as well as all who spent time there,,working hard through difficult times , with a love and a passion, that without could not produce ,the love and respect ,that you encounter everyday and night,, giving people,, One Human Family,, and why do I write this,, Loss,, How often we lose a beloved one of this, Family,, and the pain of loss that we feel,, from the loss is so felt by even One like Me who feels so blessed that I was accepted by this Family even that my time there was so limited,,I cannot imagine the pain of Loss of those who have been there full time in their lives, and who have loved and had the backs of the likes of me coming there year after year, for the few months we do,, I want to reach out and let you all know how loved and apprieciated you have all been in my life and that I do feel that pain everytime we loss one of this One Human Family

2015,,Who Would Have Thought

Jan. 20th,2015,another winter in Canada,,could be bummed out but have to stop and think about what it is im learning from this situation in my life. Missing so many good friends ,,not being able to complete so many projects I would like to have had completed,,72 this year,, you would think a person this old would know that none of the projects even matter in the big picture,,Great Grand child being born to my eldest Granddaughter,, now that is something,,the joy Ashleigh has brought into my life,, as well as my other grandchildren,,to think im having one of them bless me with my 1st Great Granddaughter,,why would you want to be doing anything other than being in presence of that occasion in your life?? so my good friends ,,yes I miss all of you and just maybe I won,t get any of those projects completed,, but I have been blessed by the energy that is everything,, that has directed my life to be were it is I must be at all times,, and doing exactly what it is I must be doing,, and I say,, Thank You God,, Thank you Son of God,, and thank you Holy Spirit,, for you are with me ,, the trinity at all times.

Life is a Very Short Experience

Between the Ego and the confusions of our minds,, life goes by us pretty quickly.Just when we start to really understand and accept that we have it right, we also realize that were 71 years old,,and yes ive heard it all,,your only as old as you feel,,ok,,and then theres that one,,at 60 or whatever,,60 not old,,ya ok,,keep telling yourself that,,the point is,,life is very short and quick,,Pink Floyds line,,ten years have got behind,,no one told me when to run,,i missed the starting gun,,well40 years gets behind that quick as well,,So,,all that said,,don,t. Get caught up by the ego,,that confuses you into thinking your the one,you can win thats never been won,,Dylan,,stop in your life everyday,,seven times and say a prayer in thanks,,for the ,,Gift,, of Life,,you have been given,,make sure your kind to all that you get to meet,,make people smile and laugh,,and when your ego gets you into any kind of negative situation,,Stop,,Reflect,,and then make it Right,,don,t carry anger and negativity,,on your mind,,that tires you and makes live much more difficult. We have all been blessed,,with life,,yes i know also we have our trials,,but,,thats the ego saying,,you should have ,or why not me,,take a breath,,your alive,,just go do or say something nice to someone,,make them have a great day,,do it time and time again,,everyday,,soon,,your everyday will be filled with. Nothing but happiness

Another Reminder

Another year slides by, as i sit in a restaurant that ive sat in for 55 years, looking out at the view,, of the golf course at the galt view,,and run through my mind of what has been,a coffee with Peter Graham, this morning, and a reminder from Bill Kimmel, that lunch with the Preston Boys is on thursday,, the preston boys are 30 or 40 boys that have been hanging out for 60 or more years,, some of what life is,,as well the intimate things we know of each other and have shared. Through are lives,break away from that and magnify this into another couple dozen situations,,key west,, new york,, the family the kids grandkids ,brothers and sister,,the loves, the heart breaks, and the growing that come from each,, when ithink of each and everyone of these and more of what life gives me,, i sit today as usual in awe and wonder,, and thank God,, for all ive been given,to be able at 70 to be in a position to think that i need to make some decisions to what and where life is going to take me,, torn,, can,t  or don,t want to be separated from any aspects of any of it,, then italy,, really need to make a trip back ,, but,, lfe,, it really is very short,, and we really do have so much,, and take such a tiny bit of time to smell the roses,, and speaking of roses,, mother Rose And father Joseph ,,that it another Reminder

Its About Time

It Is about time, about time i wrote something and about the time in my life, months again that i expressed my thought and where i,ve been, how fast did the time go from April and what was it i,ve done in that time,, life times in months,, again, time with my Children and Grand kids, another trip to NYNY, and what a time that was, 31 new drawings, and the deepening of friends and the attaining of so many new friends, the age thing has got me re -evaluating how i see all that i did and do in my life time, from eating to talking about what it is we talk about, the way i draw why i draw what i do,, and how i see my family and friends so much clearer for the value they are in my Life," God is Perfect" words from my good friend Ariel, so True, Life without them would be no life at all,Family and Friends ,, theres never enough you do for them or express the love for them, the gifts were given,, each and everyday,, is a gift and all you receive in the day another lesson and gift, i just want to stop here and express from the bottom of my heart and with every essence of my being ,, a Thank You to everyone Ive ever been in contact with that have made my world and my life the wonderful journey its been,, Nomaste'